The Internet Solves All Mysteries! (Even After 23 Years)

Last weekend at 12:45 a.m., after 23 years of (okay, very intermittent) searching, the Internet answered a seemingly unanswerable question I'd had since 1986.

I played my first video game in 1984. I was in second grade and living in Massachusetts when one of my dad's coworkers gave him some ancient PC (even for then!). By PC, I mean it had a keyboard and a monitor. It must have been a Commodore 64, though I swear ours only displayed black and white. The "hard drive" for this thing closely resembled a cassette tape player. All the game cartridges, for games like hangman and various other semi-educational games, were cassette tapes. The thing was abysmally slow and I got more enjoyment out of watching it boot up than from the games. From the time you turned it on to the time it was ready to use, you could make a bag of popcorn and eat half of it.

Two years later, my family got an Atari 2600 along with games Air-Sea Battle, Centipede, Chopper Command (one of my favorites), Crackpots (a fun one), Defender, Dig Dug, Donkey Kong Jr., Dragster, Frogger, Joust, Missile Command, Moon Patrol, Qbert (which I despised), and Zaxxon.

I remember all of these games being just impossibly difficult. Then again, I had not yet reached the apex of my gaming skills (attained '94-'98 between the Super Metroid/Legend of Zelda/Super Mario Bros. years and Mario Kart 64).

But there was one game we owned that I didn't list and this is the game that has tormented me for 23 years. That game is Pitfall II: Lost Caverns. I don't at all regret my youth spent on Super Metroid, Legend of Zelda, or Mario Kart, but I truly wish I could take back the time I spent on Pitfall II. This game was a boring, lame youth waster. Yet it had a catchy soundtrack. Perhaps the ultimate catchy soundtrack.

You see, there was this one section of the game where you had to jump and catch a horizontally travelling balloon which would, of course, being a balloon, stop travelling horizontally and, as if sensing Pitfall Harry's urgent need to ascend, begin travelling vertically. During your ballooned ascent you had to dodge horizontally travelling bats which, being a particularly vicious type of bat and the variety for which balloons are mortal enemies and perhaps occasional prey, would explode your balloon, sending poor Harry plummeting to his demise. Quite a pitfall, as it were.

But most importantly, whenever Pitfall Harry was ascending on a balloon, the game soundtrack would switch to this magnificent! Reeling! Airy! Drunken! Free-wheeling song! The song so perfectly suited a precarious balloon ride that it was etched into my brain! Well, perhaps it was an endless repetition of bad balloon rides and slow-to-improve balloon-piloting skills that contributed. Repetition being the key to learning and all. And to be honest, I really don't remember any stages past the balloon ride part, so it's quite possible my 23-year old quest is the result of this particular failed quest on the Atari 2600. I swore to my wife that I'd heard this same song in other contexts: a ferris wheel or a carousel, on cartoons, in a tipsy movie scene, etc. Yet I could never remember quite enough detail about those contexts to be able to check song credits.

At this point, I knew the balloon ride song was a waltz. It had the three beat of the 6/8 time signature. Years of grilling my classical music-loving mom and hours spent skipping through Strauss's works and the works of other Viennese composers turned up zilch. I'd sing the song for musically well-rounded friends and they'd be no help at all.

So I hadn't checked in with the all-knowing Internet on my Pitfall balloon song question in maybe a year. On Saturday night around midnight, struck by a particularly interesting and dramatic tuba rendition of the "dun dun duhhh!" sound of suspense on 30 Rock, I began Googling "dun dun duh suspense drama sound effect". (But to no avail. There are an unfortunate few results that might be turned into an entertaining ringtone.) Pretty soon I was thoroughly rabbit holed into Googling sound effects when I suddenly remembered my little "Pitfall II problem".

I Googled "pitfall atari video game hot-air balloon ride" and the glorious result? A YouTube video of the balloon ride! (Go ahead, watch it now. This is where you decide I'm nuts.)



Pitfall II was taunting me. After two decades of not hearing the song, I got to hear it again. It was exactly as I'd remembered but I was no closer to discovering its name. (No, I didn't notice the first comment about this video.)

I Googled "Pitfall II". The top entry was this Wikipedia entry. I clicked skeptically. Lo and behold, the sixth paragraph:

"Another enhancement over the previous game is the addition of a soundtrack. The musical cues act as subtle rewards and punishments for performance. The main "heroic" theme plays for a short while before reaching a loop of atmospheric music. When Harry collects a treasure, the main theme begins again. If Harry dies, a downbeat version of the theme plays, continuing until Harry succeeds at finding more treasure. Finally, if Harry ascends using the Balloon, Sobre las Olas ("Over the Waves") is played."

SOBRE LAS OLAS! OVER THE WAVES! BY JUVENTINO ROSAS!

A classic waltz by a Mexican composer published in New Orleans? Now I can understand why it took the Internet 23 years to answer my question.

Listen to the Edison Military Band play Sobre Las Olas and picture yourself floating from a balloon high above the Earth (or below, as in Pitfall), walking precariously across a tightrope, enjoying a circular trip around the carousel or carnival swing set, reeling drunk on the high seas, Googling aimlessly...

Next up? The intro music to the WWII u-boat simulator Wolfpack, the between-programs string music I heard on our local NPR affiliate KCFR (sounds like Copland?), tunes from the Japanese pop band "Seagull Screaming Kiss Her, Kiss Her", oh, and a "dun dun duh" ringtone! Because now, after 23 years, the suspense is finally over.